and so the struggle begins. the unrooting of habits formed over three years. clearing the dusty closet, letting in sunlight (gently please) for something new (someone new). the carpet of my memories is caked with dried mud - i have to hang you on the line and beat all the longings out (how they cling). i have to open all doors and all windows - let the fresh air ventilate, let the light assault all the hidden hopes i harboured for you.
your darkness haunts me. i want to be your light, i want to soothe. i want to be the softness that you need in your harsh reality. i want to be your sanctuary - the place you run to.
i want to caress your face until sleep takes over your consciousness.
but its all over. three years of neatly tucking all the wants in secret corners of my soul gave me edges, and hardness.
no more looking back, i will face my path and forge ahead.